Customer: Get your tits out!

Me: Tip me.

Customer: Stop dancing in a bikini, aren’t you a fucking stripper?

Me: Aren’t you a fucking cheap cunt?

Customer: Get fucking naked!
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP

*Leaves stage end of set, approaches client*

Customer: Oh come on now, don’t be agro

Me: You’re a rude fucking prick… and if it were any other bar, if I met you at the fucking pub I would break your face

Customer: :|

*Leaves client*

brilliant